I searched my pockets for the $55 dollars I knew was there. I broke out in a nervous sweat and gave a half smile to the cashier waiting for me to hand him the money for the biggest purchase of my 13 year old life, a pair of white K-Swiss.
This was a big deal. I was going to have a pair of name brand shoes and I was buying it with the extra money I earned from relinquishing my innocence to take care of my sister. Still searching, I had turned my pockets inside out. There was nothing there besides the residue of the tears that wouldn't flow from my eyes but seeped through my epidermis.
I was embarassed, confused, ashamed, and quite frankly, disppointed. How could I lose my $55. I purposely caught the bus to Northland instead of walking so I could keep a look at my monies folded into a symetrical bond. Lincoln held Hamilton as if they were brothers embracing after years separation.
Walking up to my yellow house I reached in my pocket again; the money was there all along. Somehow I just didn't feel it. Dashing back to Northland and with the change I was short I purchased my shoes and I rocked my size 6 K-Swiss.
In commeration of my first pair of shoes I taped $55 to a piece of paper. I kept the box, wrote precious memories on the outside, and I still have the box today. Inside that K-Swiss box are things I hope to never forget: an obituary from my brother's funeral, a copy of my orignal birth certificate, the first poem I wrote and a lot of other things that seem meaningless.
Last week I was cleaning my room and feeling the frustrations of not having the monies to apply for all the grad schools I so desperately needed to. I stumbled across my precious memories box. There, is an oddly folded piece of paper was $55, the exact amount of the application fee for Clark Atlanta University.
Sometimes your destiny starts to pave streets for you before you even learn to drive.
