I’m afraid that one day I won’t be who I am today. I get the privilege of talking with a lot of older people and hear them talk about how they had an elaborate plan when they were my age. And then they say the very thing I’m afraid of.
Life happened.
I know all too well how life can change your life. So ideally, I’d hope to plan for what life brings. But like the day when the principal called me into the office and I was shoved from foster home to foster home, life doesn’t knock, it already has a key.
Still, I’ll tell myself that I won’t make the mistakes of my mother. You would think her story is ideal. She had one love, my father. She’s been with him her whole life. All she has to show is 9 beautiful children, she didn’t raise and a life-long relationship of ups and downs that will probably end down.
Or your mistake, loving a man who makes you look happy on the surface but inside you’ve been so busy supporting him that he never really supported you. My condolences, I watched you dying to please him.
What girl doesn’t want a fairy tale life? But how many of us deserve it or could really handle it. I’ll say, I can, but I’m afraid that means that I actually can’t.
So today I’ll judge an older woman and say that she lost herself trying to find a man to love her while clutching my ID to my heart, hoping to never lose it.
But how do we know that we won't be one of those men or women who loses themselves in life. I could say, I'd never do that to my children, I'd never gain that much weight, I'm not like them...
they weren't always them.
Life is a journey, that I'm afraid of.But I guess if I get off track, how hard can it be to be me again.
